Working With Smart Sociopaths? Here's How You Can Thrive.

How To Handle Smart Sociopaths at Work

As far as I can recall, there have always been at least a couple of sociopaths I had to deal with at any point in my corporate career. 

The most severe cases didn't last long, but I got challenged with more subtle forms. You know, the kind of person who seems to fit in most of the time but who will have sociopath episodes that can be very damaging.

I call them the smart sociopaths, and here are some of their key traits:

• They're obsessed with power and the selfish validation of their ideas.

• Being self-centered, they significantly lack empathy and have high-conflict personalities. 

• They manipulate other people's emotions and can be either charming or overly aggressive to reach their goals.

• They repeatedly lie with arrogance and show no remorse when caught, likely blaming others for their mistakes.

Interestingly, most CEOs I've encountered were the opposite of a sociopath. These good CEOs were ambitious, knew how to sell and convince, and demonstrated empathy. They knew how to engage talent.

The smart sociopaths I have encountered typically gravitated around senior executive roles. Still, you could find them virtually at all levels of an organization.

How big a deal is it if smart sociopaths surround you at work?

It's a huge one! 

Sociopaths can and will destroy any goodwill and engagement from the rest of us. They will cause heavy frustrations, departures, and business failures in no time.

So, how can you handle them without losing your sanity?

You might think it's generally better to disengage when behaviors become toxic. The sociopath will soon get tired of your non-engagement and seek another victim. 

That may be correct, but it's often hard to escape in real corporate life. Here are a few approaches I have applied with decent success. It took me time to master some of these, but it eventually paid off, and soon these people were gone.

Be preventive and reveal as little as possible.

Knowledge is power, and the smart sociopath will want to charm you to extract what they need from you. So if you suspect a colleague has such tendencies, keep the revealing to its strict minimum.

Be patient and let them expose themselves.

Trying to confront a smart sociopath will likely backfire. Don't forget how much effort they put into crafting their image to attain power. So instead of directly pointing at their lies, play the "innocent" questions game that will eventually have them engulfed in their contradictions.

Use the weapon of "reasonable."

You can't avoid engaging with the smart sociopath throwing an unreasonable request at you in many cases. Just say no, as gently as possible. Give them a reason by letting them know how unacceptable their ask is and illustrate what a more reasonable approach would look like.

Play their game and beat them at it

I'm not saying you should become self-centered, arrogant, or obsessed with power. 

But you can learn how to be as manipulative as a smart sociopath. In other words, if you discover they're lying to you, find the right lies you can use to confront them, so they end up contradicting themselves.

Warning. It is an advanced approach, and you should only try it if you're confident you can beat the smart sociopath at their own game.

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The one million dollar question is if your boss is that smart sociopath. It's a much harder battle. You can prevail but need patience, thick skin, and alliances with key executives to build your case.

Just make sure you carefully choose your battles. It's better to pass and move on if your sanity is at risk. Some fights are just not worth it. 

Sociopaths are a minority, and there are many great working environments you can find out there.