Should You Bring Your Authentic Self to Work?

From Mystery to Authenticity: My Journey in the Workplace

One topic often discussed in HR departments these days is how to bring your authentic self to work. It’s fascinating, and my position on it has evolved from an extreme view to a more balanced one over the years.

When I started working, I was more of a “fake it till I make it” type of person. First and foremost, I wanted to portray the image of a competent and confident person.

I enjoyed listening to others’ personal stories and understanding their lives outside of work. But as far as I was concerned, There was no room for sharing my doubts, reservations, or personal fears. My sharing was highly humorous yet limited to a strict minimum, and I rarely unveiled my feelings.

As a result, some colleagues were a bit lost. Who was Tanguy, exactly? Was there anything fishy? Some even started to call me the “International Man of Mystery.”

Fortunately, my leadership and influence started taking off, and I pursued that ultra-confident yet distant style.

I was not fond of these sessions where we had to share personal experiences with colleagues. Some would open up about their mental health struggles, how they discovered they were gay, or even their religious beliefs. Not for me!

My approach to balancing my personal and professional life was quite firm. My persona at work primarily reflected that of a competent and confident leader who carefully considered personal aspects.

So, I would always find a few humorous ways to keep everyone entertained and expedite such a session so that we could get back to work!

As I gained experience and accumulated more failures and upsets than I can count, I realized that bringing my authentic self to work wasn’t so much about sharing aspects of my personal life. It was first about accepting my vulnerability, recognizing mistakes and shortfalls, and openly sharing doubts or reservations.

Still, I always carefully considered how I was sharing my personal side. 

I’ve seen people go too far. There were the ones who tried to impose their political or religious beliefs. Some exposed their sex and love life a bit too much. Others opened up about their family problems or substance abuse issues.

The golden rule is clear: don’t discuss these things at work.

But I also realize there’s no hard and fast recipe, and no one should enforce the “bring your authentic self at work” rule.

The workplace is a fantastic sample of the social environment at large. It’s healthy and helpful to foster appropriate relationships with coworkers that involve more than what we produce while there.

I like to learn things about my coworkers that can help me discern their values, aspirations, responses to adversity, and trustworthiness.

As a manager, these hints about a person have helped me lead and guide them; as a peer, it helped me appreciate what qualities they brought to the team.

Also, giving my coworkers and managers a relevant glimpse behind the curtain of my life has allowed them to connect with me as a person, fostering trust and shared understanding.

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Navigating these workplace relationships requires a solid EQ. Some people, by nature, will overshare, remain withdrawn, or bring to-be-avoided toxicity.

Yet, sharing a bit of yourself and those personal anecdotes with others can do wonders.

Regardless of whether your company values your personal identity, there’s no reason why you can’t maintain a balance of empathy and professionalism in your interactions with others. 

This approach can significantly contribute to a positive work environment.

Authentically yours,

The International Man of Mystery!